Channeled Messages
For years I have had imposter syndrome in that my entire approach to my spirituality seemed intellectual rather than tapping into any sort of psychic or embodied work. But on 11/14/2024, between 3:30 and 4:02 am, I had the most amazing experience and had a whole “conversation” with deities, fully awake and alert, but it was real. Of that there is no doubt. I know that to some who know me this will seem unhinged, but to others, it may resonate. I have struggled with whether I should speak of this and decided today that I needed to.
There were different messages I was given from them; some were meant for me to tell others, two people I’ve known a long time and one I’ve only met recently. But there were other messages that apply to the collective at this dark time. So I’d like to give a rundown of what happened.
At around 3:30 am on 11/14/2024, I woke up after only 1 ½ hours of sleep, which had been happening since the election. But this time, I didn’t roll over and try to fall asleep. Instead, I laid there on my back and out of nowhere felt compelled to say, out loud, “I invoke thee, Hecate. I invoke thee, Lilith. I invoke thee, the Medusa. I invoke thee, Artemis. I invoke thee, the Morrigan. I invoke thee, Bastet.” At this point I paused and I said, “there is a 7th.” I listened, and I said, “I invoke thee, Kali.”
It should be noted that up to this point, I’d only ever connected with Artemis, the Morrigan, and Bastet. I was surprised about the other deities, and the phrase “I invoke thee” was something I had never uttered in my life but it just came to me.
Instantly I felt the presence of all 7. They were in a semi-circle, like a crescent shape, in front of me. They wore robes but their faces were in shadow. They spoke as one, in a whisper. It was quite like parseltongue, a lot of emphasis on a hissing sound, but yet not scary, and no snakes appeared. It was more soothing than anything. I felt like I was floating in space, as if there were stars all around everywhere I looked. I don’t remember any planets or the sun. And then they told me, in unison, why they were there.
They told me that the needed to tell me the part I would play, kind of like a “this is who you really are” message. They said I was a lightworker, star-born, a vestal virgin (when I realized this identity a literal wave washed through me temporarily taking my breath away, and I said “aren’t there some bad things about the vestal virgins” and they said “it’s a phrase that means you are a keeper of the flame”), a walker between worlds. They said “You are the light in the darkness, the candle in the flames.” I said “that second image doesn’t make sense to me and they said “it means fire is your element.” They said this was why I’d been obsessed with Daenerys Targaryen all this time, why a close friend started to call me Khaleesi years ago. They said I had an earthly body and an ethereal one and that my feelings of strange pains and instability and anxiety came from my realizing that “the split” was occurring where I was becoming conscious of my ethereal body.
Regarding the light in the darkness, I instantly thought of right before my college shut down and I lost my career, when I was the guest editor for a special topics issue of the Humanities journal, and the topic I created was “Confronting the Real in Fairy Tales.” Here is the description I wrote over 3 years ago in my call for papers:
Writer and filmmaker Guillermo del Toro writes: "Es imposible encontrar lo hermoso sin explorar antes todo lo terrible" ("It's impossible to find the beautiful without first exploring everything that is terrible"). As scholars of fairy tales, we find ourselves inhabiting the liminal space between diverging paths. Deep in the midst of a forest clouded by fog, we are drawn to the path that leads to light and salvation, delving into the myriad meanings of the world of magic and the supernatural. However, the trail we often avoid is the one that leads to darkness. Here is the place from which fairy tales originate: the social, political, historic, economic, and cultural conditions that inspired these stories to be told. Marina Warner argues that "wishful thinking and the happy ending are rooted in sheer misery." This collection of essays aims to examine the dark world of human experience that catalyzed the creation of fairy tales…The essays in this Special Issue will illustrate Italo Calvino's observation that "le fiabe sono vere" ("folktales are real"). Their resonance owes to their realism as much as to their wish fulfillment. For it is not only in walking the path of magic that fears, anxieties, and hardships may be vanquished, but also through taking the courage to confront the terrible things that lie in the darkness.
They told me I had a mission, which was to recognize and accept these facts about myself, to understand that my imposter syndrome needed to go, and that I was to tell 2 other women whom I’ve known a long time that they were also lightworkers. They said this will confirm thoughts they have had over the years that they felt “Othered” or “different” but would talk themselves out of that belief, would see those things as negative when they were positive. I said, “I feel like there is a third” and they said “that will come to you.” (I realized who the third was right after our encounter was over).
I have since reached out to those 3 and talked with them and they have all said that what I’ve told them makes a lot of sense and there are many synchronicities this message explains for them.
As I was talking with them, I kept jumping ahead with “ok great what do I do next??” “Should I do X, Y, Z?” This is the origin of my last blog post where I referred to how we need to “slow our roll” right now and put a lot into self-care as it strengthens us for our missions. “Slow your roll” was their phrase when they kept telling me not to jump ahead of myself as that would lead to more burnout or illness.
I asked them what we as a collective were to do. Should we, because so many of these goddesses were dark feminine goddesses, be engaging in hexing and the like. They unequivocally said NO. They said that there are some who walk the path where they are close to death and transformation and they are TRAINED. They’ve been working with this energy for years. They are legacy students, highly experienced, and connected to ancestors and guides and they know what they are doing. So they explained that to get all excited because a dark goddess appeared to you and to start trying a whole new way of working where you would be “dabbling” more or less, would be to cause confusion.
They said, “you all need to stay in your lane.” I said, “That sounds punitive.” They said, “It’s not meant that way. It is about EFFICIENCY. Use the gifts you already have and refine them. THAT is your path.” They gave me examples of practitioners with a ton of cred and experience, including The Deathwitch/Loretta Ledesma. They said, “Let the others do their work.”
I said “Can you tell me more about self-care?”
They said, “Imagine the game you played in gym class…the one with the parachute, where you all lifted the parachute up. The parachute is hope, resiliency, resistance. You are all holding the parachute. But you will all get tired at one point here and there, and you will need to drop out, put your arms down, and rest. The others need to hold the parachute up. And then when you feel ready, you are to go back and lift it up to allow others rest. If you keep doing this, as a group, you will hold everything good up.”
They also said to “look for places in your life where you can see things from a slightly different point of view which may change things for you in a big way.”
For me, that’s anxiety.
They said, “When you are feeling your worst anxiety moments, that is not a time to feel despair, feel as if you are cursed, feel jealous of those who don’t have to deal with these strong emotions. That horrible feeling for you is like the Bat Signal.”
???
They explained, “that is the most important time to reach out to us. Call to us. We are trying to speak to you then. Your anxiety is not a curse. It’s a portal.”
At the end of the conversation, I asked, “What is going to happen? Are we going to go through a period of hardship and then prosperity?” They said, “Those are not your words. Be careful not to use the words of those on the other side.” So I rephrased my question, and they said, “It is not decided yet.” I said “ok that’s not making me feel better.” They said, “It doesn’t mean things will not eventually go in your favor, but you all may affect the duration of difficulty, if you (1) do not stay in your lanes, and (2) do not work efficiently, and in silence where needed, and (3) take care of yourselves and each other.”
At this point we ended the conversation, and I sat up in bed, and I spoke this entire story out loud to commit it to memory.
*******
So please take what resonates. I am the hugest skeptic about MYSELF having an experience like this, although I believe others do all the time. But this experience taught me that this is something in me that I’ve blocked, and things just fell into a perfect storm that week and it happened.
I remembered today that there was a time in the past, a few years ago, where I lit a candle and tried to call the Morrigan. There had been this explosion of black feathers on my property but no body (and my cats, if they catch a bird, tend to not actually eat it). It was as if someone dumped a thousand black feathers in my back yard. So I tried calling to her. I am 50% Irish, so it seemed worthwhile.
I found the message I wrote, and now I’m reading it back thinking wow why did I not see this as more significant then? Here is the message she sent me years ago, probably in 2020:
Me: “Is there anything you wish from me?”
Her: “Honor, Respect, Strength, Power. You must hold it together. Things will challenge you. They will try to provoke. You must be as a shield. All move as one. Overlap your shields as in war. No one speaks. No one reacts. Calmness must be the place from which you make decisions. You battle a narcissist. His/Their arguments will not make sense. They are there to distract. Make you react in a way that looks petty. Angry. This is all they have is your emotion. Your emotion is to be like glass. Icy. Cold. Calculating. Flat affect. You are Magicians. Your words and actions and moods are power and will manifest into reality. Being triggered will send you down the wrong path.”
“Hold to reason and logic. I am your sword bearer. I will drive holes in their arguments for you. You will be my shield and I will be yours.”
“Count to ten before speaking. Be mindful. Ignore the last dying pleas of the Narcissist and he will meet his end.”
“I can deliver you the world if you heed these rules of engagement. Blessed be.”
So…at the time I thought this message concerned a person who had been connected to me. But now??? I mean, come on.
I guess this all means I am no imposter. There are tons of people who have been holding up that parachute for a long time, but I truly think there are a lot of us who have been fence-sitting, for a variety of reasons, but this is our collective call.
I asked the goddesses at one point, “How many of us are there?”
And they said, “You are legion.” I said, “whoa, wait, isn’t that some kind of dark Biblical phrase (wracking my brain, thinking didn’t I read that in Milton?) and they said, “Not in this case. It means there are millions of you, all being called at once. Some of you will refuse the call, and there is no judgment against those who do. But the majority of you will rise.”
At the end of one of my favorite movies, Rogue One, the following is said, and I think it applies to all of us as we move our shields together and move as one:
Your Highness, the transmission we received... What is it they've sent us?"
And Princess Leia says, “Hope.”
Photo by Mike Labrum on Unsplash